Alison Beder Solway | The Miles We Run: Infertility, Surrogacy & Finding Strength in the Stride

TL;DR

Alison Beder Solway shares her path through infertility, surrogacy, and the rare diagnosis of HHT that changed her journey to motherhood. She opens up about how running helped her heal, how surrogacy reshaped her perspective, and how she turned pain into purpose by writing her book The Miles We Run and launching her coaching business ABS Fitness.

Running Through Grief, Healing Through Story: Alison Beder Solway’s Journey of Infertility, Surrogacy & Resilience

What happens when the story you dreamed of—how you’d become a parent, what it would look like, how it would feel—isn’t the one you get to live?

For Alison Beder Solway, the answer wasn’t simple. Her path to motherhood was marked by unexpected diagnoses, physical limitations, heartbreak, and hope. In this episode of The Mama Making Podcast, Alison joins Jessica for a deeply moving conversation about her experience with infertility, the surprising discovery of a rare condition (HHT), and how surrogacy, storytelling, and running became her pathways to healing.

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Alison always assumed she'd carry her children. But in the process of trying to conceive, she was diagnosed with Hereditary Hemorrhagic Telangiectasia (HHT), a rare genetic disorder affecting blood vessels. Suddenly, pregnancy was no longer just emotionally taxing—it was potentially life-threatening.

She was faced with a choice no one expects: risking her own health or reimagining the path to parenthood.

After enduring the grief of this unexpected roadblock, Alison and her husband chose surrogacy. But even that journey was far from linear. There were hurdles with agencies, emotional ups and downs, and the often isolating experience of being an “intended parent” in a system that isn’t widely understood.

The Surrogacy Experience—And the Layers of Emotion

Alison offers an unfiltered look into what it’s like to become a mother through surrogacy—from the complex gratitude she feels for her gestational carrier to the lingering sense of loss from not experiencing pregnancy in her own body.

There were moments of tension—where friends didn’t know how to show up, or when she felt invisible in her own journey. But there were also moments of profound connection: the first time hearing her son’s heartbeat, the joy of finally holding him in her arms, the shared trust and respect between her and her surrogate.

Through it all, Alison says she came to understand that surrogacy wasn’t a detour—it was her path. And that motherhood, at its core, is defined by love, not logistics.

Running Toward Herself

In the wake of it all, Alison turned to movement. Running became her anchor—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

Training for marathons while navigating motherhood gave her something to reclaim: her strength, her identity, her sense of autonomy. And from that grew her coaching business, ABS Fitness, where she now supports women in rediscovering their own power through fitness, self-care, and storytelling.

Alison speaks candidly about how the trauma of infertility and surrogacy didn’t disappear after her son was born. Instead, it lived in her body, in her breath, in the miles she ran. Running didn’t erase the pain, but it gave her a way to move through it.

Telling the Story She Needed to Hear

The power of her experience became the foundation for her book, The Miles We Run, a beautifully written memoir about motherhood, grief, identity, and resilience.

Writing the book wasn’t just about documenting the events—it was about reclaiming her narrative. In the process, she’s found deep connection with other women navigating similarly “nontraditional” paths to parenthood. Through vulnerability, she’s found community. Through story, she’s found healing.

The Power of Choice, the Importance of Support

Alison’s story is a reminder that motherhood isn’t one-size-fits-all. Whether you're trying to conceive, navigating a diagnosis, or figuring out how to hold both joy and grief in the same breath—your experience is valid. Your body is not broken. And you are not alone.

She encourages women to speak up, to share their stories, to ask for help—and to know that how you become a mother is never a reflection of your worth.

Final Thoughts: Resilience Doesn’t Always Roar

What makes Alison’s story so powerful isn’t just the external events—it’s how she kept choosing to move forward.

She turned pain into purpose. She built a business rooted in service. She wrote a book to make space for others. And she reminds us that no matter what your motherhood journey looks like, it’s yours to define.

In a world that loves tidy narratives, Alison’s story is gloriously human—messy, brave, and fully her own.

Want to hear the full story? Tune into the episode and follow Alison’s work at absfitness.ca and on Instagram @absfitnessforwomen.

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